Auction Power Guide

you sound like you will be a great mother! i had my son at 16 and im a good mum, i have been with his daddy for 6 years and we are getting married next year. having a child doesnt stop you from achieving your dreams it just slows your plans down. you can stil achieve anything you want if you put your mind to it. once you hold your baby in your arms you wont regret it. the baby doesnt need the best things or the dearest things in the world, the most important thing you can give a baby is you undevided attention and unconditional love.
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i am a young mum of william, who is 4yrs old now. im now 20yrs old. having my son is the best thing that happened to me!

I was a bit older than you when I had my first (23) but I felt similar. I’d only been with my partner a year, I hadn’t finished my degree and we were meant to be moving to Bermuda for my partners job 6 months after I found out I was pregnant but a child made that impossible. The life we could have had compared to what we have now would have been hugely different.

However I don’t think that having a baby and making the best of what you’ve got is selfish if the baby wasn’t planned. If someone sets out to have a baby knowing they will have to rely on benefits that is another thing.

I also don’t think termination is selfish if it’s the right thing for you but I get the feeling you already know in your mind that it’s not really an option.

Having a baby is very hard work but well worth it. So your plans will have been thrown off track a little but you never know what new doors it’s going to open for you.
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alot of people arent financially set and/or married when they get pregnant and it seems to work out fine.when i had my first child we were not financially stable but family and friends gave help and now my daughter is 7 years old.:)start looking at baby websites and cute baby pics.it will help you feel better and make you smile.ive been through an abortion and it is very hard to think about what i did so many years ago and i would never ever do it again!trust your heart and gut and know there’s always someone to help you with your baby,and when you first look into your baby’s eyes you will feel a love so great!hope my advice helps you and good luck.
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There are people who make less money than the two of you and they make it…Being a good parent isnt about being able to provide materialistic things to your child. it’s about being loving, supportive, affectionate and a good role model. as long as you can proved those things to your child you’re a good parent…and just because you’re not making a lot of money right now doesnt mean you wont in the future. you can always buy toys and things used (only ones in very good condition) and a baby shower will provide a lot of things that you’ll need. Also, if you plan on breastfeeding you dont need to worry about paying for formula. A lot of health insurance companies give you free things too, like a car seat and breast pump…you’ll find a way to make it work, trust me, people do it all the time with less. And NEVER ever ever ever get an abortion unless you want it 110%, and it doesnt sound like thats what you want so i wouldnt do it…you have nine months to figure things out and save as much as possible, it will be ok, i promise.

congrats and good luck.
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Hey beautiful!! I am in the exact same situation and couldn’t be happier. Having a baby doesn’t have to be an expensive thing. You can get 2nd hand baby clothes, cribs, toys, books ETC from charity shops. I have no job and my boyfriend works at a fast food store and goes to uni. We get by just fine on what little we have. Your child won’t remember having no toys and it doesn’t need fancy things. Also take a break from your career untill your child is about 2 and then take them to daycare when you get a job. I dont know where you live but in australia our govenment gives us extra money for children. Which trust me most people abuse. And if you live with your mum thats even better 🙂 free baby sitter. Hope this helped. <3 and best luck xoxox
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hi i was in the sort of same situation as you i was worried about everything like r u it comes down to it what u and ur partner want mattters not what everyone else and the most important thing in my opinion is that as long as the child has nappies clothes food and water and the love of both parents thats all that matters my son ios 19 months old he may not always have the bes of everything and may not alwaysa have everything we want to give him but he wants for nothing and will soon have a play mate as i am 5 wks preg now hope this helps
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personal experience

I am more or less exactly the same boat as you. I am the same age, going on 21 but the advantage is I have my own place with my parter and his daughter from a previous relationship. I am also known as the sensible and smart one of the whole family and though they were shocked, they were happy for me.
We didn’t and still don’t have lots of money but nevertheless I am now just over 34 weeks pregnant and expecting a baby boy!
Don’t worry yourself stupid when it comes to money situations or don’t bother reading statistics when it comes to the average mother spending hundreds or thousands of pounds. It’s a load of rubbish. If you are careful and get only the things you need, and a lot you can get second hand from car boot sales or ebay or just generally look for cheaper shops, or shops that have sales. There is no point going into mothercare (UK shop) and spending around £30 on something like a new born sleeping bag, when you can get one in a big Tesco’s store or Asda’s store for less than half the price, but still at the same tog (warmth).
Also if you have any friends of family that offer old baby clothes etc that are in good condition, don’t turn them down! Not to mention, if your mum is anything like mine you will have a LOT of gifts, clothes etc from her throughout pregnancy. My mum just couldn’t/still can’t help herself when she looks at baby things. Even though she has been through it twice with my older sister, she still acts like it’s her first grand child.

Don’t forget babies grow out of things so quickly so there is no need to spend a fortune on one when it comes to clothes and it’s not like they will grow up remembering how much you spent on them. Even think about breast feeding for a long as possible. It’s free and to top it off it’s the best for you and baby anyway!
Don’t buy anything until you gone past the 12 week stage (at least – I waited until I found out the sex) and then start to buy things gradually and slowly but by all means, start to save now. It’s what I did and it definitely helped!
In the end of the day as long as you are there for the baby, when it cries and needs soothing, feeding etc and you give it the love and support you need then there is no need to worry too much.

Anything else, just send me an email. Will be glad to help :o)
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I say go for it! You sound like you’re in a pretty good position to have the baby, and its sounds like you both want it. I wouldn’t worry about relying on benefits or family, even people who appear to be ‘in a stable situation’, you can bet they still get child tax credits or similar, and probably rely on family for some form of support, either finanacially or practically. There’s no shame in it.

I’m 20, currently 20 weeks pregnant (nearly 21 weeks), single (the dad isn’t interested), and don’t have a particularly amazing job. I still live with my mum too. I was supposed to go to uni last September but found out I was expecting two days before I was due to leave. The most obvious thing to do for most people would have been to terminate the pregnancy, but being pro-life and not wanting the guilt of knowing I’d killed my own child so I could go and live the ‘student lifestyle’, I knew I couldn’t do that, so I decided to get on and focus on having my baby. Don’t get me wrong, I wish circumstances were better, but I know they could be a lot worse. I have a roof over my head, my family and (most of) my friends are very supportive and very excited at the prospect of a new baby to spoil and cuddle, I still have a job so I don’t have to rely on benefits or my mum as much as I would if I didn’t have a job. And, I am still able to go to uni and get a degree. I decided to defer a year so I could earn a few ££££s and focus on caring for my baby full time for the first 3-4 months without worrying about studies, but I’m still very excited about going!

All in all I’d say I think you’re gonna be more than fine, you’ll be able to finish your studies (although be careful if you have to work with chemicals in your course, speak to your tutor to make sure you are given the right protection so you and/or the baby aren’t harmed), your boyfriend sounds awesome, and I’m sure even though living at home may not seem ideal at the moment, you may find it a blessing to have an extra pair of hands to help in the first months, and I sure your mum will enjoy being able to be a part of her grandchilds life.

If you’re worried about money, then take a look at the directgov website, there’s plently of information available about financial help available to new, young,and low income families. Don’t be too proud to claim benefits, after all, they’re there to help people like you, people who are prepared to try hard and make their lives better, but need a bit of assistance in the meantime. If you were planning to continue your studies in any way then theres also additional student support available for parents, that’s whats gonna help me get through uni. One of my friends recently went back to college to complete her level 3 hairdressing NVQ, having taken a year out to have a baby.She gets support with the cost of her childcare, something she finds very handy.

I’m sure as well once you’ve had your baby and gotten through the first few months, you’ll feel ready to look at placing them in some form of daycare so you can then look at getting a job, and then maybe your finances will enable you and your little family to become more independent. And if you want to get married then you can look at doing that too! You’ll have a little bridesmaid/pageboy to help you by then. (I actually work in a bridalwear shop so know plenty about weddings).

I would advise talking to your partner and mum about all of this, like you said she’s supportive so explain what you think you’d like to happen and I’m sure she’ll be happy to help. I’d also look at starting to take some folic acid, your doctor should prescribe this, or you can buy it over the counter from most pharmacies or chemists, it’s not expensive.

All in all, the best of luck and stay strong, you sound like you’ll be fantastic parents! If you need any more info/advice let me know.

Much love

E x
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Personal experience
directgov website

Im also 20 and Im 36 weeks pregnant with a little boy. He wasnt planned and yeah, we freaked the crap out and are still a little scared but its so amazing feeling the baby kick for the first time and even just buying baby stuff is exciting haha. We’re a little different though, as we have moved out of home but we didnt til I was about 6 months in, so you can always save up and and move out if you really wanted :] I was scared of being judged as was my boyfriend, as we were both only 19 when we first found out and he had only just started working as a cop. But 99% of people have been super supportive about it. I was scared about telling people as well because I have been seen as the smart, sensible one as is my boyfriend but that honestly made it 100 times better because they know we were going to do this properly and maturly. Good luck! Just remember that you can be irresponsible at any age and by the sounds of it you have a good head on your shoulders! :]
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